It's not Hoof and Mouth

Oh the benefits of being a public school teacher.
I think I may have been lucky my first year, by not contracting weirdo illness that I should have gotten as a child. I somehow managed to amass a large amount of sick leave, so much sick leave that I had planned to call in “sick” some day before Christmas break so I could go Christmas shopping guilt and child free. I even had the date picked; next Friday. Then… I caught a virus of the worst kind.
At first I thought I had developed a new allergy to pineapple because when I ate a single spoonful on Sunday night, I may as well have stuck a spoonful of lye in my mouth the burning was so bad.  On Monday my mouth was very itchy lending support the pineapple allergy theory. Tuesday I woke with a blister and a general feeling that my mouth was covered in an itchy film. I thought that perhaps I had thrush because what on Earth else could it be? I really had no clue, so I made an appointment.
The Dr took one look at my mouth and told me what I have contracted. She should have said “Oh, you have the hand, foot and mouth virus” because although that news is bad she told me I had “herpangina.” I had no idea what herpangina was but it sounded like two words that should not be married “herpes” and “vagina.” I left the office not knowing that herpangina was the fancy (and horrible) word for what is commonly called hand, foot and mouth and has nothing to do with herpes or vaginas. I went back to work not realizing that I was extremely contagious though I’m sure it doesn’t matter if I came to school contagious because apparently it is rampant in the area and probably already flourishing within the school.
Once home from school I WedMDed herpangina and discovered its common name. I learned that thought I am extremely contagious; I am only really a danger to pregnant women. It also seems there is no clear “all clear” sign for when I am no longer infectious. Apparently, I can be infectious for weeks after the symptoms disappear. Good grief. I really cannot stay out of work for too long so I’ll just have to quarantine myself from pregnant friends until after Christmas break.  When I feel this isolation is too difficult I’ll just have to remind myself of “The Year of Wonders,” the true story of the sacrifice of one community during an outbreak of the bubonic plague. I feel this is an appropriate comparison; disagree with me and I will lick you.
This morning, husband read an info packet on herpangina and noticed that the name of the virus that causes this illness, which again has nothing to do with herpes or vaginas, is coxsachie. Seriously.

No, No Nonsense Ghosts

I have sadly come to the conclusion after six years that our house is not haunted. There isn’t even a hint of unexplained activity here. Even my Ghost Reader EVP droid app doesn’t register any sensible ghostly activity.  It says crap like “patterns, whale, and mile.” Those words in any order make no sense to me, and I have always been good at piecing together abstract items to make sense to me if nobody else.* This is how I survived all of my math classes in high school and “Math For you and Your Hamster” in college.

Pic taken in front of non-haunted house 2010.

Now, when we lived in Richmond our house was brand new and was not haunted because we built it. As far as we knew the house itself could not have had a dark history but we suspected the land may have been cursed with some kind of residual something or other. We lived fairly close to the Pocahontas State Park at the time and every once in a while a strong odor of tobacco would fill the upstairs. Not the smell of a burning cigarette but the fragrant smell of a smokehouse with tobacco leaves hanging to dry. It was a bizarre phenomenon but not unpleasant. We asked our friend and HVAC guy, Don, if he had any ideas what the smell could be after he did some work for us. He had never heard of any case like ours before.  OOooooOOOoOooOOoo

Pic taken in the front yard of famous TV/haunted land house Halloween 2005.

The house also had a way of attracting attention to itself. It was on TV twice! I have never been on TV, but my house was in a commercial for our neighborhood. If I remember correctly, there was a stand-in family in front of the house smiling as if it belonged to them. It makes me laugh now, but I was offended at the time. Our house was also on the Richmond news after our neighbors' home unfortunately burned to the ground.


Before we lived in the local celebrity TV house, we lived in a run-down shack of a place also in Richmond. The house was a bit sketch for many reasons, among them the mummified mice in the basement and mushrooms growing in the bathroom. Husband insists there was a ghost cat at this house which would occasionally jump onto the bed at night.

No pics of this house for obvious reasons.

So this house is free and clear of ghosts. Though I am thankful to not have any worries of spooks and demonic spirits, I do kind of wish we had a ghost cat or two.

* I was having a difficult time remembering some of the words the Ghost Radar said here in the past so I turned it on to get some examples of random nonsensical words to put in this blog entry and then the radar said the following words… “find, take, all,” which does kind of make sense and is a bit creepy, but then it said “dog.”

No Such Thing As "Mostly Dead"

The ghost squirrels didn’t get me. I’m writing this because you seemed nervous.
Anyone get The Princess Bride reference?

No, there are no ghost squirrels; however, real squirrels have wreaked havoc on our pumpkins this year. The pumpkins were not sitting on the porch for 30 minutes before something chowed down on the jack-o-lantern’s tooth. If it wasn’t a squirrel, it was definitely the tailless chipmunk which has moved into a formally snake invested crevasse under our front porch.

October is my favorite month. I love everything about it sans mention of zombies. Give me crispy leaves, smelly pumpkin guts, muddy apple orchards, and crisp drizzly air. Just leave out the zombies.

Clarification on zombies: Half skeletal zombies with black ooze don’t scare me. If one was actually approaching me, I would likely pee my pants but as fictional creatures I am immune to their gory gazes, jerking body movements, and wispy white hair. The zombies that scare me are the “mostly deads,” or “recently deads;” the creatures that were formally your aunt, uncle, bff, or parent just a couple of hours ago but have now suddenly gone rigid and have developed a taste for brains. THEY FREAK ME OUT! If you’ve been mostly dead all day, stay that way…. weirdo.

The pumpkin is starting to get that “mostly dead”  look about  it and is giving me the creeps. You should see it on my porch at night. :<

Here is a video from my past of a squirrel devouring one of our pumpkins. Look at that fatty fat go to work! He is the honey badger of the rodent kingdom. He just doesn't give a poop and gets right in that pumpkin. Sorry for the sideways vid and the poor quality. This video was taken in the early days when I did not know any better. I would have buried it away in my "I had nothing to do with these" files but it seemed appropriate to place here.

Lotsa Little Legs in my Apple

The fam and I went apple picking in a nearby orchard last week. Whenever I go to these local orchards I feel as if I am ripping off the owners. Not only do we get boat loads of apples for practically nothing, not to mention the nine apples that were eaten while the three of us picked, we also get an eensy bit of protein tossed in for free.

Here's hoping Poopsie #1 checked this one for squiggles before using her mouth as an extra hand.

Apparently, the land my house currently sits upon was once a very large orchard. I do wish they had not removed every single apple tree. Perhaps they (the construction and land development people) thought I would rather have a brambly brushy hillside perfect for blueberry bushes.  Poopsie #2 seems to think that having your own apple tree is the key to ending poverty.

I do wish for a single tree but I think the deer would ruin all chances of our actually consuming an apple we have picked. I guess we'll continue to visit the orchard once a year and get gazillions of apples for nearly nothing.

 

Pie was thoroughly inspected for unwelcome leggy protein...

photos by Ctmom

*for the extra observant... we did use cat litter containers as apple picking baskets 'cause I'm low maintenance like that....

Bad Mom Move #2455

Background:
Husband is obsessed with the hottest of the hot. Husband's coworker brings him Thai chilies. I proceed to find uses for said chilies every night for about a week while keeping the children's portions of the same meal chili free. This method of food preparation takes finesse.

The Meal:
Stir-fry Szechuan beef over rice with pre-made store bought veggie egg rolls. I know.. one day I'll have time to learn to make my own eggrolls.. maybe.

The Whining:
Usually Holly does not like homemade Chinese inspired dishes. She mopes and pushes the food around the plate until she has successfully thinned the food out enough to make it appear as if she has eaten some. Strangely, she ate this meal without complaints until she took a bite of the egg roll.
Her: 'This is hot, so hot."
Me: "Blow on it."
Her: "No! It's spicy hot."
Me: "Oh Holly, it is not. Just eat it."
Her (extra whiny): "It really IS hot."
Me (getting annoyed: "You only have a half of an egg roll to eat. EAT it!"
Holly (drama queen): "But it's burning my mouth!"
Me (getting annoyed): "Stop whining and eat your food!"
She ate the egg roll as dramatically as she could manage, waving her hand at her tongue and chugging her milk. She also managed a couple of deep shivering breaths with body trembles, but she ate it.

The Foul:
When cleaning the kitchen later that night I realized that I used the same knife to cut the egg roll in half that I used to cut the chilies for the adult portions of the beef stir-fry. Doh!

Here is a picture of a pair of the chilies from that offending bunch.

photo by CTMom

I haiku, can you?

Even my Poopsie #2, Holly, can write a lovely haiku.
On this voice thread, Holly recites her haiku which accompanies her painting of a conch shell. She is the second student featured.

Art and Poetry
 

Blueberry Love and Loathing

Blueberries were everywhere this summer... everywhere. Sadly, I do not love them. Blueberries are among those foods with magical health maintaining properties and they are simply lovely. How many natural blue things does one get to eat anyway? Why can't I love them? I do wish that I did.
And so, I wrote haiku after haiku to deal with my conflicted feelings. I took some pictures too.

Pigment is vivid.

I see how pretty you are.

Taste should match the look.

I get it, you grow
wild and free in my backyard.
I will still snub you.

I keep you around
Because my kids think you're fab.
Look at that fun face.

Wish I could enjoy.
I watch them nom nom away.
I haz a jealous.

Guess you’re not all bad.
I enjoy you in smoothies
and namesake muffins.